Eric Neel gives hope to Cubs and Red Sox fans:
It's a different kind of thing being a Cubs or Red Sox fan. You see an open parking space, but you don't pull in, because you know if you do, pigeons will come calling for your paint job. You meet a pretty girl, but you don't ask for her number, because you know sooner or later she's gonna serve up your heart with fava beans and a nice chianti.Mr. or Mrs. Cub fan, please believe ...
... Mark Prior's arm is a lithe and powerful gift from the gods.
... there's no way Sammy gets caught with cork in his bat twice.
... the Astros are longtime losers, too (and the Braves ain't exactly known for realizing their potential, either).
And you, Captain Red Sox, believe this, my friend ...
... the only thing livelier than Pedro's tongue is his arm.
... Mookie Wilson's playing days are over.
... the secret powers of a man named Trot are deep and wide.